Not to piss on the picnic but today would’ve been my father’s 55th birthday. He had a lot to do with Krudmart’s development and everyone that was ever involved with the company misses him a lot. Happy birthday Dad.

For a remembrance I give you this list of Carpisms compiled primarily by veteran Krudmart teammate, Don K in the ‘05-’06 season:

CARPISMS

how long was i on that phone? you guys are laughin. i’m tryin to pay attention. my attention span’s about as long as my fuckin dick

lick my fuckin leonard!

ahhh..who would do this
(drink carrier piled up way over garbage can)

look at it…that box is leakin fuckin pubic juice

coors plastics leakin its guts..why dont you just shut the fuck up.

this zoot suit case is gonna be the fuckin death of me

what the fuck..i got like 8 pairs of flip flops..you think i could find one of them?

if you’re askin me don’t ask me..you seem to be askin me and i don’t want to hear ya.

i dont know why the kid bothers putting food in here..he knows he’s not going to eat it, and he knows that im gonna throw it out, its like why put it in there….same thing every time

You can only bowl 3 games. State limit. There’s a law against it.

The only thing i wanna do is WIC my dick out and slap that bitch in the head, GET A JOB!

got yeungling coming on my card…a fuckin 20 dollar six pack a’ fuckin…goldschlager

I’d rather get it off in here than in my bed
(regarding mud on pippa)

this fuckin stove looks like someone took a shit on it. i don’t notice these things til i put my glasses on

carp: i know this girl that teaches yoga out in west seneca…..
steve: carp stop lying…you don’t know any girls.
carp: yeah what am i thinkin..it musta been a guy

awww they’re so fucking dank.
(about dunkin donuts sandwiches)

ok i’m off to take care of your fuckin dental bills too, ya fuckin buck tooth bastard

We spent too much time fishing and not enough time spooning

i should beat you into bulivia..wherever that is.

i’m outta here, i cant stand fuckin krudmart ideological shit

you do care but your mind cannot take the capacity of “knowledge”

i want silence! I’m dialing!
(carp sending a fax)

*tape noises in background*
Steve: Carp…what are you taping?
Carp: uhhhh…..my dick.

come in here ill fucking piss in the fucking piss shit in the shitter

what? is there no fucking handle from a reclining chair to rattle WHAT THE FUCK!?