As the years go by, I feel I’m becoming more and more desensitized by the internet. Obviously at first all I wanted to see was boobies and skateboarding websites. That progressed to stealing music and trying to find videos of totally amateur girls (remember Libby Hoeler?). Eventually I found a way to make money off Al Gore’s greatest invention and now I’m back to just jerking off but not really.. more like stroking my own ego.

That’s where this magnificent motherfucker comes in. If you haven’t come across him yet, his name is Arthur Kade. I cannot tell if the joke is on him or us. He is truly a captivating individual. He has (according to him) perfect shoulders and has created some mind boggling meter by which to judge women: the soon-to-be-infamous “Kade Scale“.

At first I just wanted to laugh at him and his ridiculous delusions and aspirations but now I’m really rooting for him to lose his lisp with the help of a professional speech coach so he can knock it out of the park on his first speaking role.

Here’s to hoping he finds a date-worthy 10. My hat is off to you Arthur Kade. You re-stoked the formerly exhausted flame in my heart that once burned white hot for the internets.